Talk About Feelings | Regannon Books

Try this word game with your child ~ learning to express feelings in productive ways

Play pretend with "I-messages"

Take turns filling in the blanks,

I feel ________________________when you _______________

**Avoid using "I feel angry when... " (because Anger is a secondary emotion.) You can try it, but then talk about how "I feel ANGRY" usually means I'm feeling some other emotion too.)

I feel ignored when you _______________

I feel sad when you __________________

I feel happy when you ________________

I feel grumpy when ___________________

I feel loved when______________

I feel left out when___________

I feel jealous when __________

I feel hurt when ___________

I feel disappointed when _______

I feel scared when __________

I feel guilty when __________

I feel embarrassed when __________

I feel nervous when __________

I feel excited when __________

**There are many feelings that are more easily talked about when your child completes feelings statements. This exercise will also give them the language to use in times they are experiencing strong emotions, happy ones and hard ones.

Do you ever get ANGRY??

Did you know feeling ANGER almost always comes from something else that's going on. Anger is a secondary emotion. For example: if someone makes fun of something you did, it HURTS your feelings (so you get angry) or if someone promises they will do something with you, but then they don't show up! You feel DISSAPOINTED... so you get angry.

What are some other feelings that cause you to feel ANGER?

embarrassed?

left out?

frustration?

guilt?

(don't want to admit you did something you shouldn't have)

stress?

sadness?

inadequacy?

( not feeling good enough)

powerlessness?

(you don't feel like you can change things that are going wrong or making you upset)

WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN THESE FEELINGS HAPPEN?

*TALK about it!

Try using "WHEN ~ I" messages...... it's better than hitting, screaming or throwing things......

WHEN you ____________I FEEL________________.

for example:

'When you don't show up when you say you are going to, I feel like I don't matter to you. '

"When you say I can't run fast I feel like you are telling me I'm not good enough."

These take a lot of practice to do when you are feeling anger. (even parents have a very hard time with this!!)

Be sure to STOP and THINK and TAKE A BIG BREATH before you do anything when you are feeling anger.

Here are some other things to try!

*Take a walk- swing- jump rope- run in place (move your body)

*Hit a pillow

*If you are old enough, write a letter to the person or situation that has made you feel so upset

*Count as high as you can

*Draw it out

*Get a cold drink of water or splash your face with cold water

* Listen to music or watch a show that makes you happy

* STOP and look around you ~find something you can SEE, something you can HEAR, something you can SMELL, something you can FEEL

*HUG a trusted stuffed animal or person

REMEMBER:

It's normal and healthy to have emotions. Sometimes we are feeling happy and in control and othertimes we aren't. It's better to try to talk about what's going on with you. It's called, Mental Health! You want to have both a healthy body and a healthy mind. To have a healthy body, you eat the right things, exercise and keep yourself safe. To have a healthy mind, you need to be sure you are learning new things every day that help you grow and you need to learn to express your feelings in healthy ways. If you aren't feeling like you have a healthy mind, TALK to someone you trust.

Talk About itTalk About it

Try this word game with your child ~ learning to express feelings in productive ways

Regannon Books